


Here on my shoulder

by Dramaul



Series: my kotor [1]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Non-Explicit Sex, POV First Person, They fucked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:15:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaul/pseuds/Dramaul
Summary: Canderous Ordo watchesRiggssleeping on his shoulder during a cards game with Mission. They're left alone in that table of the Ebon Hawk's main hold. Thinking about her and all the shit they've been through together and something more.
Relationships: Canderous Ordo & Female Revan, Canderous Ordo & Revan, Canderous Ordo/Female Revan, Canderous Ordo/Revan
Series: my kotor [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929178
Kudos: 7





	Here on my shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> oki, well, in my HC, Revan never lost her identity and she's full of memories. Only Bastila knows the true.

It’s been a busy day, a shitty one but, guess having her sleeping on my shoulder worth it. Every single hour of this damn rotation, on this kriffin' _neutral_ system.

The blue kid got tired of playing, Big Z doesn’t know how to play and my best partner here fall asleep after a couple of bottles we bought on Narr Shaddaa, and the favours she made a few hours ago for mere strangers.

It’s quite odd how unconditional she has turned since we met. I even thought that was just hatred because of my presence on the ship (and the presence of everybody else), I wouldn’t question her reasons, though. Didn’t mind, either.

Still, I just can’t believe yet how this ended between us. Sure if she says we were having fun and nothing more, it’s acceptable. But not like this, nothing like that night. Having fun would be getting some drinks until dawn, hunt some thieves, bother sith patrols, shit like that. What we had- what we did was something else, something better.

I know there’s one story to tell, I always knew. I didn’t want to push it further and break the trust we built the past months, which wasn’t easy thing. She was bitter, speechless, Bastila was the only one she could have some private conversations with, many of them were… Jealously secret.

The Jedi couldn’t be away from her for too much time or was like she was about to lose her and go despair. Like a mother watching over her children running side to side, but my boss here wasn’t a child to take care of. Although, I could understand why she keeps her so close and so personal.

I still remember the night Riggs approached me like a sleepwalker telling me how glad she was knowing that my people were being hunted, but how I could possibly still alive? Didn’t understand a thing but his hatred towards me, towards all of us, it was natural. Never blamed her but when I saw her like that, so hurt and lost trying to hold my throat with her hands with no success due the weakness on her body in that moment, I couldn’t help but kiss her.

In my idiocy I thought it could lead us to something more, but she was so broken and confused, she didn’t look at me directly while she was singing a name of someone else. Who? I don’t know, or maybe I do, she mentioned someone, guess the same di'kut she talked to me about being at the bar on Nar Shaddaa

I saw she was like in a trance, she wasn’t okay, it seemed normal for Bastila, though. Of course, the last thing I was gonna do was giving exact details about what happened, I’d be dead by now.

Riggs doesn’t remember a thing of that, among other crisis she had during our trip through the galaxy. And, during our trip she has changed so much. She’s wild and deadly yet, but no to us, she’s not the same person with the crew. Not even with the lost weeping flyboy we have to deal with every day.

I had to ask, I needed to know if there was something between them, I’ll never forget the look she gave me. It was obvious, but my curiosity was satisfied. I wouldn’t say the same about her and the Jedi: there were so much jealousy, protection and some curious glares… In the end, Riggs stayed with me.

For one night maybe and one day, it was me who shared the bed and the shower with her. It was me who discovered her in a different way, who learnt from her. I see her leaned fallen asleep on me and can’t help but remember _the moment,_ undressing her, discovering her skin, paying attention to her calloused and bleeding hands, her body full of scars… A woman made of war, made in war. She was like me, like my people. She was beautiful.

When I saw the bigger scar sited on the long of her back she pulled me away and stepped back ashamed, embarrassed covered her body and I thought she regretted what we were about to do. I wouldn’t blame her, someone like her involved with someone like me, a Jedi and a Mandalorian…

She was ashamed by that scar, that old wound that seemed to hurt her yet, at least the memory of it. Didn’t ask how it happened, and deep inside of me doesn’t want to know, but we trust in each other, in that night we trust as much as never before. She trusted me her body and I trusted her my life.

I confessed her that I’ll miss this, this experience with her. I know what’s next, I know where we’re going next, and after that nothing was going to be easy. Riggs assured me that we’d find the way to repeat the moment someday. I know that _that_ is not gonna happen but, I am certainly sure I’ll follow her wherever she takes me. Im hers, only hers. And she know that.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm working on this fic and it's big, but I'm just eager to share it at least in small parts (this was written orginally on Tumblr but I guess it might get more reach here). Lemme know if you like this and might start to write what happened on Nar Shaddaa.


End file.
